This is the post this whole blog is named for – a must read for anyone who wants to change their thinking around ethanol. \u00a0One crazy thing is: The words I refuse to ever use, like alcoholic, sobriety or relapse, are the exact keywords I must use so anyone looking for help can find it!<\/p>\n
\u201cSticks and stones will break your bones but words can never hurt you.\u201d \u201cThe pen is mightier than the sword.\u201d<\/strong> I don\u2019t know about you, but I\u2019m with the pen. It\u2019s my experience that words are very powerful, and they can lift you up or push you down; they can make you feel happy, sad, good, bad, guilty, defensive, insecure, and in some cases they can even be devastating.<\/p>\n My awareness of the power of words has caused me to be vigilant about how I speak of having become a non-drinker of ethanol. I watch the words of others and the effect they have on my inner self. When I am in a conversation, I can actually feel how certain words and phrases tend to manipulate; I can feel their power viscerally, and that is why I am careful and aware. We are saturated with language around drinking, alcoholism, and sobriety that is generally accepted by society and the medical industry, addiction \u201cexperts\u201d and everyday people\u200a\u2014\u200awords that assume, judge, and condemn. Sobriety\u200a<\/strong>\u2014\u200aThe word in and of itself sucks and has taken on a different meaning than its intended quality of being staid or solemn; seriousness, dignity.\u00a0<\/em>Today\u2019s sobriety <\/em>reeks of booze and sacrifice\u200a\u2014\u200athings given up, rather than wonderful things like clarity, health, joy and even dignity regained. I\u2019ll take dignity and clarity over sobriety any day. I\u2019m not sober; I\u2019m free!<\/p>\n Quit or Give Up<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aI did neither; I simply stopped consuming ethanol, so I do not utter such terms. Once again the language has deeper meaning than those simple words\u200a\u2014\u200ato quit or give up has great overtones of sacrifice and loss. Stay away from those words, they are not helpful.<\/p>\n Recovery<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aThis term has a wicked complicated tapestry of convoluted meaning. It is another setup for failure in the sneaky addiction industry lingo. If you are \u201cin recovery\u201d there is an understanding of something medical, something disease-based ongoing, like cancer remission (temporary recovery)\u200a\u2014\u200avery iffy; you can\u2019t trust it.<\/p>\n Remission<\/strong> also means pardon, forgiveness, as of sins or offenses.<\/em> So, if you find the need to use a word that embraces the nebulousness of your state of not drinking ethanol, \u201cremission\u201d might be better, since it connotes the false disease model more clearly. If somebody says, \u201cI\u2019m a recovering alcoholic.\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m in recovery.\u201d it doesn\u2019t necessarily mean \u201cI\u2019m returning to a normal state of health, mind or strength.\u201d It tends to mean, \u201cI\u2019m in this shaky process of self-denial, a sort of remission, that I have been told I can\u2019t trust and I could \u2018relapse\u2019 at any moment.\u201d I remember joking that I was a \u201crecovering alcoholic\u201d when I\u2019d have a lay-low hangover day because I was indeed recovering after ingesting way too much ethanol.<\/p>\n Alcohol<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aEthanol, the stuff that goes in your gas tank and shouldn\u2019t go in your body. Also note the warm and fuzzy booze advertisements that aim to make you sentimental about your relationship to it, how it\u2019s seen as vital to enjoyment, celebration, belonging, and even commiseration. Believe me, it\u2019s not vital; it\u2019s a highly addictive poison.<\/p>\n Alcoholic or alcoholism<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aWords I refuse to use ever again, just say: someone addicted to ethanol <\/em>or ethanol dependence.<\/em><\/p>\n One day at a time<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aA subtle societal setup for failure. It goes hand in hand with \u201cHow long?\u201d and \u201csober\u201d and \u201crecovery.\u201d The whole culture especially 12-step stuff is saturated with this time thing. Fact is, time is an illusion and there is only NOW, and that\u2019s all I care about. I don\u2019t drink ethanol now. When people ask that underhanded statement of sabotage my gut reacts as if it\u2019s a threat, and it actually could be one if I subscribed to the common cultural myths surrounding white knuckle sobriety<\/em> and recovery<\/em>. I also notice that it\u2019s the people who are concerned with their own intake of ethanol that tend to ask that question. And I don\u2019t count days; counting keeps you in the prison you\u2019ve already sprung yourself from.<\/p>\n Drink<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aHow the heck did this word ever get to mean ingest ethanol<\/em>? We drink tea, water, and all sorts of other stuff too. See how our language is so completely saturated in ethanol? Notice how powerful the language becomes when we stop using the word alcohol?<\/p>\n Withdrawal<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aOMG what a horrible sounding thing of loss, like you have to go to the bank and take out all of your money and be left with nothing! This is one of the terms that the addiction industry uses to help keep the addict addicted. This term helps to confuse people, make them fear cessation, make them fear pain that likely will never happen. I am happy to report that after more than 40 years of drinking just about every single night, I suffered no adverse \u201cwithdrawal symptoms.\u201d I did notice a few changes. I stay up a little later; read later into the night; have better recollection of what I read; wake up in the morning feeling great; I\u2019m more hydrated; I am happier; I find more joy in everything, I laugh even more than I already did, stuff like that. Woe is me, not. Relapse<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aWTF? This word reeks of ego and self importance, drama and codependence. Oh, poor you, you\u2019ve been stricken with a symptom of that terrible alcoholism disease of which you were briefly in remission. That word takes away your personal responsibility and makes you powerless. It\u2019s only the end of the world if you see it that way. For god sakes, we are these tiny creatures spinning around on a dirt ball in space. Give yourself a break. Mocktail<\/strong>\u200a\u2014\u200aWhy make a mockery of your wonderful life-affirming change? Many of us drank to \u201cflip the switch\u201d from working to relaxing. So, the best word for a tasty ethanol-free drink at cocktail time is Switchflipper.<\/strong><\/a> Cheers!<\/p>\n Clean & Sober\u200a\u2014\u200a<\/strong>Yuck, no thanks; I\u2019m just Clear & Happy!<\/strong><\/p>\n Wayne Dyer said, Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change. READ ON<\/a><\/p>\n \u00a9\u00a0<\/span>heidimayo.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\nIn becoming a \u201cnon-drinker,\u201d a person who doesn\u2019t drink ethanol, I needed to change the language. Here are some words and phrases that I find especially tricky, and have either consciously stopped using or changed the use of my language around them:<\/p>\n
\n(Disclaimer: Some may take umbrage with this and if physically addicted may feel the need for medical help. I can only speak from my own experience, that the idea of a painful withdrawl that never happened kept me from stopping sooner.)<\/p>\n
\nIf you swore not to ingest ethanol, and did, you did not have a relapse, you just drank ethanol against your better judgement. Get over it and move on.<\/p>\n
\n<\/em>I say, Change the lingo; change the paradigm; change your world.<\/p>\n